[identity profile] xyphoidmax.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] kissmeprobie
Title: Taking Liberties in The Capital Wasteland
Rating: R
Pairing: Tony/McGee
Summary: McGee has been kicked out of his home in this futuristic post nuclear apocalyptic adventure, where he has to learn the ways of the wastes and become a real man while trying to find his dad and meeting new characters along the way. Includes original artwork!
Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: Obviously I don't own the characters, but the situations I put them in are totally mine!
Warning: Strong language and situations, futuristic sci-fi tech, violence, etc.

Tony takes the lead as we walk for a good 30 minutes before cresting a hill to find a huge metal structure jutting up from the ground, seemingly out of nowhere. It's clearly a large entrance to a city behind metal walls thrown together with rusted scraps, there's a man with a big gun standing on top of the structure looking down at us.


"Check it out, Megaton," Tony points and smiles, pleased with his ability to produce the awesome sight of creaking metal, rising up out of the hard dirt.

"Weird...I've never seen anything like it before," I bring my hand up to shade my eyes and Tony chuckles as he starts walking down the hill toward Megaton.

"I can guarantee that's not the last time you'll say that. I've been out here forever and I'm still amazed with the shit I see." I follow him until he stops me in front of the city doors. The man with the gun stands up and looks over the railing on his lookout. Tony waves and smiles,

"Hey, Stockholm! It's me, Tony...DiNozzo," he shouts and waves as he walks up to the towering steel structure. It groans a little with every small gust in the breeze. "I found a little friend here who needs to file a missing persons report!" he shouts up. The man with the gun looks unamused for almost too long before he chuckles,

"Okay, DiNozzo...Just don't cause any trouble today, the sheriff is doing his rounds right now and I don't want to have to throw you out again...Besides, I just got paid and if you're not here how will I spend my money?" his laugh is peppered with a sleazy tartness which makes my jaw tighten.

"Yeah, man, I'm not looking for trouble today...I'll be good, I promise," his tone was almost flirtatious and it makes the man with the gun laugh more and open the door for us. Tony looks back at me and grins,

"Piece of cake, kid, come on," he winks and flashes me another pleased grin, it sucks away my breath and think I'm going to choke, I just grin like an idiot instead. The doors rattle and dust falls from the cracks and hinges as they open with an agonizing metallic squeal. Tony saunters in like he owns the place, is this guy always this cocky? I envy his blatant arrogance and I catch myself staring at his ass as I follow him. He spins around and again points out in front and says,

"Megaton!" I can tell he loves doing that, it makes me smile genuinely for the first time since I got out here - despite it being kind of corny. This guy is growing on me rather quickly, I hope that's a good thing. My dad always told me to make good choices, I want this to be one of those times I make the good choice, and something he'd be proud of me for doing.


Megaton is a maze of piping, scrap metal shanties, old airplane parts, and for some reason there's a nuclear bomb sitting at center of the city...which is at the bottom of a deep hole...this whole place is just a giant hole.

While I'm admiring the surreal scenery, Tony takes a sharp right and begins walking with a purpose. Once I notice he's moved on, I do my best to keep up with his hasty stride.

"Um...So that guy said there was a sheriff here, shouldn't we check with him first?" Tony turns his head and speaks over his shoulder,

"Oh, yeah you can go talk to him first if you want, but I'm going to Moriarty's Saloon, I just got paid and I need a drink or two."

"A bar?"

"Yeah, you want a drink?"


"Yeah. You want a drink?" He stops at the door with a big sign hanging above it and turns to me.

"Yes," I say confidently, he smiles slowly at me and I can't maintain eye contact for long, my shoes and the ground suddenly become more interesting. He opens the door for me,

"After you," I step through the dark threshold and into a dimly lit, smokey bar with destitute wastelanders scattered amongst the tables, murmuring back and forth. There's a radio on the bar playing music, who's broadcasting this? This place is more developed than I was expecting. Tony steps in behind and pushes his way past me to the bar. I stand there and look around for a place to sit, there are a few chairs in the corner but there's a woman standing near by and her eyes have been locked on me since I walked in. Ugh, she makes me uncomfortable. I take a deep breath and I reluctantly walk over to the chairs and ask her,

"Is anyone sitting in these seats?" She looks at me up and down, lowers her cigarette and smiles,

"Are you with him?" she points with her cigarette to Tony, who is paying the bartender and walking back with two glasses of what I can only assume is beer.


"Then, no, these seats aren't taken...So...Who are you, vault-dweller?" she's so creepy, and I know she's a prostitute and trying to be sexy to get money, but it's really not working. I want her to go away.

"I'm Tim..." Tony finally sits down with me and hands me my drink,

"I see you've met Nova, watch out for her, McGee, condoms are hard to come by and she's the only working girl in town," he takes a big gulp from his beer.


"Fuck you, Tony, you faggot. You'd know more about that than I would, wouldn't you?" she starts to walk away. Tony laughs and slams his mug down, "Don't hate me because you're not my type, Nova." She turns around and flips him off before turning to me, "Don't listen to him, Timmy, if you ever need a warm bed and have 120 caps on hand, I can show you the time of your life," she wanders off to go talk to another group of men on the other side of the bar.

Tony smokes a cigarette and I drink my first beer, it has a horrible flavor but I manage to drink the whole thing. I feel a little drunk, I think, so Tony buys me another.

"So, McDrunk, I talked to Moriarty over there," he nods his head to the man standing at the bar cleaning a glass and talking to the man working the cash register, who looks like he's been burned badly. Something is wrong with him, but it's too dark in here to really tell.

"He might have some new armor to trade with you. I need some ammo and maybe another gun, I think I have enough to get something...Maybe some meds and chems too..." He starts talking to himself more than he's talking to me, staring up at the ceiling and rubbing his chin as he ponders what he has and what he needs.

He buys me a few more drinks and now I'm really a McDrunk, it's hard to focus but everything is very amusing and Tony is giving off an enchanting magnetism. I'm definitely attracted. He likes to talk and I like to listen, his recollective anecdotes of brutal violence, thievery, deception, long hard travels, prostitution, and heavy drug use from his years as a mercenary, for some really strange reason, I find extremely sexy and romantic. It makes my heart flutter, I want to do all of the things he's done, his life has been so exciting and he's not that much older than me.

After about an hour, he stands up and says, "Come on, time to trade your shit. I fucking...Need to get some shit too." He's not nearly as far gone as I am but he's clearly drunk, and it's not even 4 o'clock yet. I stand up and immediately stumble into the table, Tony chuckles,

"Watch out, McTooDrunkToWalk, that's a table. Walk arrrroooouuunnnnddd it," he draws out the words and walks his fingers in the air.

"Oh yeah...It's weird to...Move around...And stuff..." he laughs at me again, stands behind me, gripping my shoulders, and directing me up to the bar. Moriarty looks up at me and smiles, he's missing his two front teeth,

"So, you're Tony's friend, eh?"

"Uh yeah...I'm Timmmmcgee," oh damn it, I'm slurring my words now, it's kind of embarrassing.

"I'm innnneed of ssssome armor and..." Tony cuts me off,

"Yeah, he needs something better than this," he tugs on my vest and almost pulls me over, it just makes me giggle, "And like I said earlier I need another gun, some rounds, and...Uh meds and chems..."

"Yeah, yeah...I'll show you what I got..." I continue to giggle and he just stares at me, "What's wrong with your boy there, DiNozzo?" Tony chuckles and wraps his arm around my shoulder, "Don't mind him...First time drinking," he whispers.

"Oh yeah?" Moriarty smiles, "Alright..." We barter for new supplies. Tony gets a new Hunting Rifle, a couple of boxes of ammo, Rad-Away, Med-X, two Jet inhalers, Rad-X, Psycho, Mentats, and 5 stimpaks. He gave Moriarty a big bag of bottle caps, scrap metal, a bottle of vodka which he had trouble parting with, the crowbar, gun, and baseball bat he took from the Raiders who attacked me. The armor he had was too expensive for me, but Tony urges me to trade mine in anyway. Said that he knew a way to get me some. I trade my armor and my baseball bat and Moriarty gives me 150 bottle caps for both items.

While he's sorting through his caps and supplies, I start talking to him due to being nervous and uncomfortable - the alcohol only making it worse.

"So...Uh...Moriarty, isss it? I'mmm looking fffor my dad...Gibbssss..." He stops me suddenly, "Gibbs? Leroy Jethro Gibbs?"

I can't believe he knows who he is, my heart feels like it stops beating in my chest. "Uh...Yes! You know him?!"

"I do...Met him years ago. He had a baby with him, must have been you, but he was working on some sort of hair brained idea about cleaning up the water in the Potomac. Yeah right," he scoffs and continues, "I guess it fell through. He was looking for a place to hide because I guess they actually had some good research that everyone wanted to steal from him and his crew. So I suppose he's been hidin' up in that vault all these years until today. He stopped by and started asking questions..."

"Questions about what?! Where did he go?!" I didn't understand the baby thing, I was born in the vault and my real parents are dead...Right? Moriarty laughs at me, "You know, information isn't free...But...Since you're Gibbs' kid...He was mostly interested in what was going on since he left. He didn't say much, but he was very interested in GNR for some reason...So I directed him up that way. Then he took off."

"That's it? What's GNR?"

"You writing a book?"

"Uh...No...I just want to know..." He cuts me off, "Yeah, yeah...It's the radio station that doesn't broadcast the president's bullshit. Galaxy News Radio...Maybe you should try looking up there," he grabs my Pip-Boy and plots in the coordinates.

"Whoa...Thanks...Thank you so much!" I feel giddy and I can't believe I actually got some useful information about my dad!

When I look over to Tony, he's leaning against the counter next to me staring at a group of men who had stomped in several minutes ago and had begun to drink. They're laughing and enjoying themselves.


In a matter of seconds, Tony stands up and approaches a tall, bald man, the biggest one in the group. My heart is pounding, I have no idea what the hell he's doing. He taps the man on the shoulder, who turns around and his big smile quickly morphs into a very angry frown. He grabs Tony by his jacket, flings him around and knocks over a chair, the whole time Tony has a smug smile plastered on his face.


"You!" The bald man yells, "You fucking faggot! What that fuck are you doing here?!"

"How's your brother doing, Nicholas?" his smile hasn't changed.

"Fuck you! I'm going to fucking kill you!"

"That's not necessary," Tony laughs, "My associate and I were just leaving and I was thinking it would be rude not to say, 'goodbye,' to you." The bald man looks over his shoulder at me, and an angry smile takes place of his frown.

"Your associate, eh? Yeah right, he's probably somebody else's brother you're fucking. Fucking fags. God damn it, I'm going to kill you!"

"In due time, Nicky...But not today and not here...Put me down and tell your brother hi for me," he winks and it infuriates the bald man.

"Because of you, faggot, my brother is dead...I had to kill him, we don't tolerate sissy, ass fucking, queers like you!" The bald man's words dug deep into Tony, his smug grin waning for a brief moment. He swallows hard and blinks quickly trying to compose himself, I think Tony is going to vomit all over the bald man but instead he releases a choked laugh,

"Well...That still doesn't hold me responsible, you're the one who killed him." The bald man tosses Tony to the ground and lands his heavy boot into Tony's crotch. The armored men laugh and call him a few more names before returning to their secluded corner to drink more, meanwhile Tony lays on the bar floor holding himself and groaning. I quickly stumble over to him and lift him to his feet,

"Shit, are you okay?" Tony groans again,

"Yeah...Right as rain, kid. Come on, lets get the fuck out of this shit hole, we've still got your dad to find," he grimaces out a smile and we exit the murky air of the bar into the daylight, I'm still so very drunk. The argument and high tension sobered me up long enough to get through the whole ordeal, but all my drunkenness rushes back with the sunlight on my face. It's kind of relaxing.

As we both step outside and the door shuts behind us Tony stares down at a pile of old bottles, and before I can ask him if he's okay, he lets out a loud grunt and kicks them down the walk-way; only one shatters.

"Uh...T-Tony?" I reach my hand out to pat his shoulder, but he turns around before I make contact, he's smiling.

"Sorry about that, McGee...Come on, let's go find you a gun..." he starts walking away from me, and a spark inside of me lit a fire, I wanted to know more about what the hell just happened.

"Hey! Come back here!" Whoa, where did that come from? My voice is loud and deep, it even startles Tony. He turns around with a confused look on his face. I jog a few steps over to him, "What the hell was all that in there, Tony?!" His brow drops and he bites his lower lip.

"You don't need to know the details of that shit back there," his face is serious and his stare is piercing through my confidence, but I stare right back holding my ground. I really want to know. I know what the words they were calling him mean, I've heard them a few times myself. Usually when I'm getting my ass kicked by homophobic jocks in my class.

After a few seconds he laughs, "Okay, kid...How's this...If we're still both alive in two weeks, I will tell you...So stay on my six and I'll tell you all of the juicy details...Fair enough?" I agreed to the deal. Sure he saved my life, but I've still only known him a few hours and I'm, quite frankly, scared of him and the things I know he's capable of doing. I really don't need to be tied to a rock with my eyelids cut off in the hot sun because I pissed him off asking too many questions. No thanks.

He takes me to another corrugated metal patch-work building, "Craterside Supply," the sign reads above the door. Tony opens the door and I follow him into another dark shanty. There's a woman behind a counter working on something at the work bench. She looks up at us when Tony's boots stomp onto the wood flooring, "Tony!!! Wow, I haven't seen you in forever!" She drops what she's doing and runs up to him to hug him. "Heeeeyyy, Abby! I know, I've been working a lot lately," he smiles at her and they both look at me, "Who's your cute little boyfriend here?"

He starts blushing from her statement, but composes himself quickly, "This is my buddy, McGee...I found him wandering around in the wastes," Tony slaps my shoulder and pulls me closer. I stumble a little bit, still dealing with my decreasingly drunken state. "Hi, I'm Tim...Nice to meet you," I extend my hand and she hugs me instead, "Nice to meet you too, Timmy, I'm Abby...Where did you come from?" she smiles and winks at me. What's with people winking at me?


"Kind of a long story...But essentially I'm from a vault," I shrug, I'm not sober enough to tell her my whole story. It hasn't even been one day and I've done more than I have in the past 2 years, it's been difficult to process it all.

"A vault, eh?" she replies with a skeptic smile, I simply nod in response. "And look who picked you up, dusted you off, and brought you to me!" She looks at Tony and he smiles and pushes his chest out, "Well...You know..."

"Yeah, you're a regular knight in shining armor..." she snickers.

"I like to think of myself more as a lone cowboy on the horizon..." they both start laughing and I feel kind of lost. She turns to me again, "So, Timmy, what can I help you with today?"

"Uh...Well...Um...I need a gun...and some armor..." I pull out all the caps I got from my trade, she sifts through them as she counts them out. She looks up at me silently and studies me, I shift nervously.

"Okay, well...With what you have, I can sell you one of two things...I have an Assault Rifle and a 10mm submachine gun...But, there's a catch..."

"Um...Okay, what?"

"Both of them are in bad shape, that's why they're going for half off. I was going to rebuild them, but I haven't had any shipments of Assault Rifles or 10mm SMG's. So..." she turns around and pulls them out of a locker and places them on the counter. They don't look like they're in bad shape, "So what's wrong with them?"

"They both have a tendency to jam if you shoot off too many rounds at once. It's sort of easy to avoid jamming if you shoot in small, controlled bursts...And not close together." She looks up at me for an answer. I'm really not sure if I should buy something that's going to break on me when I need it the most. However, I don't have anything right now, maybe I can sell it later for something better.

"Uuuuhhh...Okay, I'll get the...Um...Submachine Gun," I point to it and she hands it to me, then sliding all the caps off the counter and into her safe. It's heavier than I thought it would be, and I realize I don't know how to use it. I look at Tony and he seems to read my mind.

"Hey, I'll teach you how to use it, kid. It's easy!" He takes the gun from me, he shows me the safety, how to reload, and cock it. He makes me try it a few times.

"You think you got the gist, McGunSlinger?"

"Yeah...I think so," I feel pretty comfortable holding the gun and reloading it quickly. I could use more practice, but I'm hoping I won't have to use it. Tony grins and shows off his charming smile, I feel my face heating up and turning red. Ugh...Damn this guy and his good looks.

He flicks a few bottle caps onto Abby's counter, "For a few boxes of rounds for him." She smiles back and teases, "Oh, Tony DiNozzo..." giving me three boxes of ammo, I immediately log them into my Pip-Boy.

"Oh, Abby, Sciuto..." he teases back, "Thanks for helping out my little buddy here. But we have got to be going."

"Wait! Are you leaving town again?" She rushes out from behind the counter and stands right in front of us.

"Yeah, McGee lost his dad and we're going to find him. We've got a lot of ground to cover and it's already getting dark."

"Wait! You lost your dad?" She looks at me with confusion.

"Yeah, well, like I said it's a long story...He left the vault and nobody knows why. I have to find him! Moriarty told me he saw him and sent him up to GNR...He didn't happen to stop by here and get anything from you, did he?"

"Hmmm...Well...What's his name?" she cocks her head to the side.

"Gibbs...Leroy Jethro Gibbs..." I reply, hoping his name rings a bell.

"Hmmm...Sorry, never heard of him..." she frowns and looks genuinely upset that she's not able to help further.

"It's okay we'll find him," I don't really believe my own words, but I'm trying to. She suddenly hugs me, "I hope you do! Listen," she looks at Tony, "If you're leaving again, could you help me do some field work while you're out there?"

"Um...We might be able to...If it's on the way...What do you need?" Tony raises an eyebrow.

"Well, I'm writing a book called The Wasteland Survival Guide...Tony, you're really adventurous and you know how to get around out there...And from the looks of it, McGee has some potential to do the same."

The looks of it? What? In what way do I look like a Wasteland survivor? I'm brand new here! I don't get it, but Tony taps his chin and thinks about his answer.

"Yeah, alright...Make us a list and we'll see what we can do for you before we head back." She loads some missions onto a holotape and hands it to me, "Thanks guys! You're the best! Put that into your Pip-Boy, Timmy, and you guys can hopefully gather some info for me!" She hugs us both goodbye and we leave her shop.

Tony was right, the sun was going down quickly. How are we supposed to find my dad in the dark? I follow behind him as he walks back toward the bar. Oh man, I don't want to drink anymore, or watch him fight with huge guys.

"Where are we going, Tony?" He turns around, "We're going to head back to my place for tonight, I live just outside of town. I can't afford anything within the walls of Megaton, but it's pretty safe and well hidden. Plus they let me mooch off their electricity, which really only runs my fridge but it's good enough for me!"

Just then, the guys he was fighting with from the bar come blundering out of the front door, being loud and drunk. Tony pulls me back behind a wall and watches them from around the corner. He looks back at me and smiles deviously, "Want to see a really easy way to get some armor?"


"Follow me!" He runs off behind the bar and we take the back way to the front entrance. Staying low and in the shadows with plenty of space between us and those guys. They leave the city through the front entrance doors. Tony pulls me along and we slip past the doors right before they close. We stay in the shadows and he whispers to me, "Okay, I'll take the big guy...You choke out the skinny guy,"

"How?!" I whisper back. He grabs me around the neck, the crook of his elbow on my throat. "Grab him like this, and push with your right and squeeze with your left. On my count run behind that fridge, and wait until I go for the other guy...Got it?" I nod and he counts off his fingers: 3, 2, 1. I hustle, staying low to the ground, and hide behind the half way buried fridge. Tony ducks behind a rusted out truck corpse. The sound of the gravel under our feet alerts them, but we're hidden by the time they turn to look. Tony throws some rocks and they spin around again, trying to figure out who was making all this sound. It's at this point I see Tony jump out of his hiding place, I follow him, ready to do my part.

My heart pounding in my head, I'm a lot more scared to assault this guy than I thought I would be. We're both in position and Tony yells out, "Hey!" The bald guy spins around, just in time to see the butt of Tony's rifle slamming into his face. The skinny guy is busy being shocked with Tony's attack, I have enough time to jump him from behind. My arms link around his neck and I squeeze as hard as I can. I close my eyes, waiting for him to stop struggling and to go limp in my arms. It takes less time than I was expecting, in a few seconds he's passed out on the dirt. Tony struts over casually and knocks the skinny guy in the head with his rifle like he did to the other guy.


I look at him a little confused, "So he doesn't wake up..." He starts to take off his armor.

"What are you doing?"

"You're the same size, this is your armor now...Shit, it needs repairs..." he says, busy removing it and inspecting it, "Hey, McGee, take that guy's shit off, we can fix this one." I crouch down and try removing the armor as quickly as I can, my hands are so shaky from the adrenaline I can barely unstrap it. I hand it to Tony and he quickly switches out some of the plating and worn straps.

In less than 5 minutes, I have new armor on, more ammo, caps, stimpaks, and more of this stuff called Jet. Tony and I are jogging away from the crime scene. We're back out in the middle of nowhere in no time, he takes me over a few hills and around some corners until we reach a demolished road. There's barely anything left to it, but we follow it up a small mountain and find his rickety shack buried in some large boulders. I'm surprised to see a brick-work chimney jutting out of the rocks behind the shack.

"Here it is...Home sweet, home!" He opens up the door and he proudly displays his small, one room house. It's quaint and I think it fits him.


It's dark inside expect for the thin beams of faint light coming in through the one window, which is boarded up. He lights a small lantern on the wall and smiles back at me, "Have a seat, Kid! Get comfortable..." I look around and sit on the bed, it creaks loudly and shifts under my weight. I watch Tony build a fire in the fireplace, it didn't take him any time at all to get it roaring.

"Oh, that's nice...It's going to be cold tonight, and every other night from now until at least April," he looks at me and back at the fire, "You can have the bed tonight if you want, I can take the floor. You hungry?"

"Yeah, kind of..." I'm actually starving, I've barely eaten all day. Tony smiles at me and starts routing around in his fridge.

"Well...I've still got some mole rat meat and some beer, other than that I'm all cleaned out," he looks back at me from behind the fridge door.

"I'll have whatever you're having," I smile at him and he chuckles softly to himself. He opens the beers and hands me one. The meat actually smells pretty good while it's cooking, with a name like, "mole rat," it makes you wonder what the hell you're about to eat. It's so delicious, in fact, I practically inhale my portion and wishing for seconds.

We end up talking for a while before we decide to turn in for the night, and the more time I invest in Tony the more I like him. It's unbelievable, every time he laughs or smiles, especially at me, the more he reels me in. He tells me about how he found the perfect spot for his shack, apparently the chimney was already here when he moved in.

"There must have been a house up here at some point, or the beginnings of a house, when the bombs dropped," he tells me. "What time is it?" he asks after going off on a few more tangents about killing a few raider groups not too far from here. I check my Pip-Boy,

"It's 22:36..."

"Oh, well, I think it's time for bed. At least for me, feel free to stay up if you'd like, but we have to head out early tomorrow if we're going to get a good start on your dad. Plus we're going to need to do some rural shopping, if you know what I mean."


"Hunting, kid, we need food. It'll be better caloric intake than some shitty food we'll find in any ruins. There are a few other places around here we can check, see if anyone has seen him...Right now we don't have much in the way of leads, other than to head up to GNR. I have feeling this may be a long, hard investigation..." he sets up a pillow and blanket for me on the bed and takes his place on floor by the fire.

"Yeah, me too..." I reply, "Thanks again for helping me out...But really, why are you helping me so much?" He's quiet for a while before he answers,

"I feel like I know you...From...Like a past life or something...Know what I mean?" I stare at him for a moment, taking in his good looks with the flickering light from the fire. He is kind of familiar, but I can't pinpoint it either...Maybe we did know each other in a past life.

"Yeah...I think I do know what you mean..."

Once I'm fairly certain he's asleep, the loud snoring kind of gave me an idea, I turn the external volume down and the internal volume up on my Pip-Boy. Time to listen to my dad's holotape. There's a long static filled pause before his voice breaks into the silence.

"Tim...I will be leaving very soon and you must NOT follow me. Stay in the vault. I have to go back to Project Purity. Enough time has passed that we can get it started up again, plus from what I know some of my team...What's left of my team, has made some more breakthroughs in the research. The wasteland is no world for you, not yet anyway. I will be back for you once we have succeeded, once Project Purity has succeeded. I love you, son." There's another long pause before the tape stops. Well, at least I have a better idea of what the hell is going on, I'm still completely lost. Maybe, if we run into someone, they might know more about Project Purity. Probably not.

I roll over and fall asleep. Tomorrow, and every day after that, is going to be rough. At least I have Tony by my side.

(To Be Continued)


kissmeprobie: tony grabbing tim's shoulders, text "bob when you weave" (Default)
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